Thailand, the Beginning

Today for the first time in my life, I woke up in Thailand. Although this place is new there is something about the air here: the sounds, the smells, the feelings, that takes me back to other times and places. The foggy mornings in Kenya, the smells of eucalyptus on a scenic drive in California, the clinking of dishes and laughter coming from the kitchen reminding me of my time on staff at a yoga retreat, the calm and sacredness of my favorite hot springs in California. The same feelings of peacefulness, adventure, and a deep gratitude for all the wonder in this world awoke within me, but so did this deep heartache for things and parts of myself that I didn't realize I was missing.

I came to Thailand because I felt I had to. Because I could see and feel myself changing and was afraid my struggles were swallowing me whole, leaving me forever different. I had grown bitter, negative, and numb and I was scared I'd never snap out of it. The compassionate, understanding, vivacious, joyful person I once identified myself as had grown distant. Depression has been a thick, heavy blanket covering my whole life these last six months, dulling all sensations, except, of course, sadness and anxiety. The strangest part of this was for me to stop feeling that constant, bursting love that was bubbling in my chest eager to connect and express itself through laughter, tears, hugs, and words. Many times in my life I have tearfully said the words, "I just love everybody." That deep compassion was a part of who I was and without it I felt robotic. Play acting as my former self without the same feelings. I became the Tin Man searching for his heart. I grew accustomed to feeling without feelings. Laughter without laughing. Joy without joy. Excitement without excitement.

These feelings themselves carry an energy that I've missed. An emotional cup of coffee that no longer gets poured leaving me feeling blah and tired. And this morning, that nostalgia that overwhelmed me with warm feelings and sadness, also reminded me of another energy that accompanies moments of my life when amazement, happiness, and adventure have combined to create an unforgettable moment. Floating naked on my back in a hot spring staring at the stars and for a few blissful moments knowing that magic is real. Another time at that same hot spring, surrounded by cold water watching rain as it hit the fig leaves above my head feeling completely at peace and connected. Running one foggy morning in Kenya while listening to the Lion King soundtrack as I made my way through herds of giraffe, wildebeests, and zebra. I couldn't stop giggling at the surreal experience.  Unbelievable scenery soundtracked by the perfect song with the feelings of possibility and complete liberation that come with the open road.

As I swam in nostalgia and began to examine these memories, I realized that part of me booked this trip to invoke some of these feelings. To throw that depression blanket off and remember who I am and what makes me tick. There's something about a good sunset, a new trail, a good view, a pretty flower, when the sunlight hits the world just right, the smell of the woods, a camp fire, your skin after a long walk in the snow, and the anticipation, excitement, and nerves that accompany trying something new, that make me feel alive. These moments are why I explore, both myself and the world. It's these moments when gratitude overwhelms me as I see the everyday magic that exists in this wonderful world that show me that God is real, because how can't he be?! These moments, to me, are the same as falling in love. Love has not always been kind to me, but I can always count on my relationship to this. To God. To Nature. To connection. To adventure. To wonder. To this world.

As I sit here writing, surrounded by water, nature, and the sounds of the tropics, I'm starting to remember who I am and with that I feel hope. Hope for adventure, love, wonder, gratitude, overwhelming happiness, and feelings with feelings. First full day in Thailand, feeling alive and grateful.

10 Lessons Learned Meditating and Yoga-ing at 9000 Feet in 110 Degree Heat with 2000 People.

Hellooooo! I'm back and although I was only gone two weeks, I felt like I had a lifetime of experiences. Apparently waking up at 3:30am makes one day feel like ten! For those of you who don't know, I was at a Kundalini Yoga Retreat for 10 days called Summer Solstice. Kundalini Yoga is an intense, dynamic practice that coordinates movement with breath work often quickly and for a set period of time (i.e. you may repeat one movement and breathing pattern for 3 minutes). It's a powerfully effective practice that gives you the tools to cope with daily struggles and to achieve a peaceful, meditative state. I was introduced to this practice by my lovely yoga teacher in California, Nicole (Guru Karam Kaur). As someone who has experienced intense anxiety, I realized that my anxiety didn't stand a chance when met with this powerful form of yoga. It's not for everyone and some people think it's strange because it is (lots of huffing and puffing with weird breathing techniques while doing interesting yoga poses will make anyone feel silly), but it works. I've found a lot of relief in it and have learned that it can be applied to so many parts of my life. This Summer Solstice was the second one I attended as I felt eager to learn and challenge myself. One of my best friends, who I haven't seen since our last Summer Solstice adventure, flew out to Marquette, MI to embark on yet another epic road trip leading us to New Mexico for the retreat. We had an amazing time and got to explore America in my favorite way, on the road. It's the perfect way to transition into a 10-day Yoga Retreat, which leads me to this year's experience.

Between classes, working in the kitchen, and participating in yoga and meditation at 9000 feet on holy Hopi land in New Mexico, I learned a heck of a lot in 10 days.  Although much of it is difficult to put into words. Quite honestly, I think I'll be processing the whole experience for months to come, but I'd love to share with you what I can.

10 Lessons Learned Meditating and Yoga-ing at 9000 Feet in 110 Degree Heat with 2000 People

1. Essential oils are your best friends. Lavender helps heal burns, peppermint helps sooth, and blends are great for achy muscles and mental clarity. Hot days and spray bottles with water and essential oils are a divine combination that cools you down and makes you feel a little bit pampered. Also, when you're camping for days in extreme heat with thousands of other people, good smells are welcomed.

2. It feels damn good to use your body. Doing up to 4 hours of yoga a day, plus volunteering in the kitchen for 6 hours had me exerting myself physically more than I think I ever have. Working in a kitchen is something I'm used to, but not one that makes meals for 2000 people. There is a lot of heavy lifting involved! It was amazing to see how my body began to change in just 10 days. I feel stronger, empowered, and inspired to keep my lifestyle active. I was also surprised at how much energy I felt from doing that much activity.

3. When you push through perceived limitations, you will shock yourself at what you're capable of. One portion of the retreat included spending three days meditating in simple yoga postures for 6-8 hours, sometimes holding one pose for 62 minutes. What starts as a simple pose quickly turns painful when you're holding it for that long. I was able to surprise myself with my strength and also reach a mental state that allowed me to meditate above the pain and achieve comfort. It was a huge lesson on how powerful the mind is.

Natasha and I after 8 hours of meditating

4. To sweat is to pray. My last day at Solstice I went to a dance class that blew my mind. We started with a little bit of yoga and then danced to some amazing music. Our teacher guided us so beautifully that we were able to fully embrace the experience without feeling awkward or embarrassed. At one point, she said to us, "to sweat is to pray." In that moment I remembered how meditating and spiritual experiences can be achieved in so many ways and anyone can find a practice that feels right to them such as running, dancing, hula hooping, mindfulness, silence, etc.

5. When you walk an unbeaten path, you aren't alone. My lifestyle and career choice has led me down a road that often feels very different than others and can sometimes feel lonely. Going to this yoga retreat, I was suddenly surrounded by other people drawn to a life of healing and wellness. My first day, I met a woman who is a Natural Chef and Wellness Coach and I was so stoked to meet another one of me! I quickly remembered the importance of attending events and conferences that allow you to access the community you're apart of so that you can get advice, inspiration, and understanding. IT helped me feel more equipped and supported in offering my services to the public. I encourage everyone to find people that share their passions in order to learn, grow, and be inspired.

6. Morning people know what's up! This year I was much better at going to bed early than last year, which allowed me to wake up at 3:30am and participate in the programs and classes offered. Besides napping during the 5am meditations (so hard not to), I stayed alert and active all day. This year I was able to attend way more classes because I wasn't tired. In 10 days I developed an enjoyable routine that allowed me to start my day with yoga and meditation, energetically volunteer in the kitchen, take 3 classes a day, socialize and have fun, and get some peaceful, relaxing alone time. I felt so perfectly balanced! Being a night owl, I've always resisted the idea of waking up early, but this was such a powerful experience helping me realize that starting early can allow me to take full advantage of a day. I'm so inspired to push through my sleepy, groggy morning resistance and start getting up earlier. Plus, sunrises are awesome!

7. Meditation is a powerful tool for clarity and inner peace. Duh, right?! Well, I think this is a realization that I will continue to re-experience and I think it will always blow my mind. In the first two days I had such a deeper understanding of the struggles I've been experiencing, which allows me to start letting them go. Also, it allows me to function more peacefully and efficiently in my daily life. Meditation is the real deal people!

8. It's okay to feel your feelings. One of my favorite things about kundalini yoga is that it helps you use some of your most uncomfortable emotions to achieve a relaxed state. Anger is a feeling that I always resist, but it's natural to feel it sometimes and it's quite powerful. There are a lot of poses and dynamic kundalini exercises that allow you to use that power, burn off steam, and feel peaceful. This way you have an outlet for that anger and it doesn't seep into your life through snappy comments and hurtful words. Being away from my kundalini yoga teacher, I had forgotten what a great coping mechanism this is and am excited about using it again. Embrace and love yourself and all that you feel. That acceptance will help heal you and bring you to a happier, healthier existence.

9. Coconut oil is da bomb! It's amazing how a hot, dry climate leeches all the moisture out of your skin. I got into a routine of applying coconut oil to my body after all my showers and it was amazing how much better I felt. Also, the hot sun and thin air of high elevation increases sunburn risks. Coconut oil, amazingly, has a low SPF level that will act as a natural sunblock. It worked great for me! Also, the smell is lovely.

10. "If you can't see God in all, you can't see God at all." This powerful Yogi Bhajan quote hit me in a very deep place and acted as a sort of wake-up call for me. I think it's an important concept for anyone no matter what your spiritual beliefs are. What I took it to mean was that in order to fully love and accept ourselves we must learn to fully love and accept others. In that love and acceptance there is divine connection. One thing that happens when you get 2000 people in one space is there is a lot of bumping into each other, which irritated the heck out of me (it reminded me of being stuck in traffic without air conditioning). I realized that irritations give rise to snap judgements and negative thoughts, which is a small example of how judgements can seep into our lives. After hearing this quote, I began to be more aware of some of my negative thoughts and actively meet them with love and acceptance. This will be an ongoing exercise, but it's quite powerful and will leave you feeling more peaceful and connected. Love, man, is a powerful thing (imagine me saying that like Jeff Bridges would while holding up a peace sign).

Well, folks, that's my epic journey abridged for you. I'm currently processing the whole experience, which was aided by my solo 24-hour drive back to the U.P. That was the first time I road tripped that far by myself and that in itself was a challenge that left me feeling more confident and empowered. It was a great way to transition back into my daily life! Although I did miss having a navigator as I'm quite directionally challenged and, admittedly, a little spacey (especially after 10 days of meditating). But, hey, the greater the challenge, the greater the reward. Despite one speeding ticket and a few wrong turns, I am feeling quite proud of myself!

I'm sure I'll have additional blog posts on the things I've learned and I'm really excited to incorporate these tools into my daily life and business. If anyone has any questions or interests let me know and I'd be happy to share more with you. Email me at sageandspry@gmail.com! Lots of love!

Angie and Natasha's Rules of the Road

We're on day three of our cross-country road trip and have, once again, had an amazing time and saw more of this beautiful country. Natasha and I have been on many road trips together and each time seems easier. We've learned a lot about traveling and how to get the most out of the time and money we have, which is often very limited. Here's how we do it:

Angie and Natasha's Rules of the Road

1. Teamwork is a must. From keeping the driver awake and passing time, to putting food together and digging stuff out of the way, way back, it's great to have a travel buddy.

2. Friends' couches make the best hotels. 

3. Get good at either eating while driving and/or being fed while driving. Eating on the road is a great time saver and often pretty fun.

4. Be aware of things that melt or leak. (!!!) Which leads me to...

5. Always have napkins, utensils, and Ziploc bags on hand. 

6. Always break for beauty. That's the whole point, so don't let moments pass you by.

7. Practice the no plan plan. Flexibility allows you the freedoms to meet people and find places that you wouldn't have discovered otherwise. Go with the flow and see what you find.

8. Gas station yoga is a lifesaver. Traveling can be tough on the body, so stretch when you can.

9. Check in with your parents. They really appreciate knowing you're alive.

10. Don't worry, people should be staring. After a few days of living out of your car, you often look like you've, well, been living out of a car. That coupled with the fact that you are indeed an outsider can quickly attract attention. It's ok, just smile because it's also a great opportunity to meet people and get some advice and support from the locals.

11. The world is your playground. There are a million of opportunities to play, so take the time to do so.

12. Arguments require space, loud music, and, later, some conversation and hugs.

13. Ask for help. People are very kind and if you tell them you need help finding a great park to hang out in or a good coffee shop, often they're happy to help. Plus, it's the best way to experience unfamiliar places.

14. Take the road less traveled. There are some amazing sights to see in America and taking the unbeaten path is often very rewarding.

15. There's nothing wrong with pulling over for a nap. Safety first, people!

16. Get creative with passing time. From singing songs and memorizing poetry, to silly games and creative projects, boredom does not belong on a road trip.

17. Do things that scare you...

Like walking on a bridge over this... ahh!

18. Grocery shopping is the best way to eat healthy and save money.

19. Take advantage of photo ops.

20. Eat healthy, drink water, but let yourself indulge. I have a specific way of eating, but I'm flexible while traveling as that's my favorite way to experience a new place.

21. Hot springs... always find hot springs. 

The Road to Solstice

Prepping for a 10-day yoga retreat called Summer Solstice has me reflecting back to this time last year when I was doing the same thing, except that I was also preparing for a move to Colorado. Life was very chaotic for me and the role that Summer Solstice played in my life last year was extremely important. The Prep

Last year's Summer Solstice came in the midst of a huge transition in my life. I had decided to leave California and move to Colorado. My two roommates and I were all planning on attending Solstice and all had huge adventures to partake in afterwards. We all agreed that the retreat would be a perfect transition point for us. The months leading up to it were quite hectic busting my ass to make extra money, tying loose ends, and packing up my life. Our household was a roller coaster of emotions with lots of highs and lots of lows.

This was the state of our house the NIGHT BEFORE we left!

From that to this in one day, was a flippin' miracle!

The Trip

Once we were in the car, all of our stress started to melt away into excitement.

Now we could enjoy an epic road trip and an amazing yoga retreat. It wasn't just us anymore either, we caravanned with two other vehicles putting our total to 9 adult yogis and one baby yogi. We all met up at our first hot spring in California for some soaking and camping.

Our Yogi family

The kids (band photo)

Never in my life have I felt more like a hippy and I absolutely loved it.

We camped under the stars (sometimes just on the side of the road), swam naked in rivers, found every hot spring we could, pooled our money together to buy food, picnicked in local parks, and went everywhere we wanted to go, ending on a mountain in New Mexico for the retreat.

The Retreat

This experience was amazing and challenging and life changing. Summer Solstice is a special event. You come together with a community of people that are compassionate, giving, and self-reflective to practice together, learn, meditate, and to help each other reach new heights.

The retreat is based off of the teachings of Yogi Bhajan. He was one of the first to teach the secretive Kundalini Yoga to the public in response to the hippies of the 60s and 70s seeking spiritual fulfillment using drugs. He knew that Kundalini Yoga would give them the same experience of reaching a higher consciousness while also healing their nervous system from the damage of drug use. Kundalini Yoga is an intense practice that matches unique breathing techniques with movement to create a feeling of bliss, connectedness, and clarity.

Based on his teachings the goals of Summer Solstice are to be "happy, healthy, and holy."

It's fun, but not easy. It requires a lot of self-reflection, discipline, and breaking down of barriers. Each morning you wake up at 3:30am to participate in Sadhana, a mix of yoga, meditation, and prayer. Yes, I said 3:30am!

The rest of the day is spent participating in service (I was a veggie chopper!), attending classes, workshops, and lectures, and participating in special events. Any spare time is spent reflecting, hanging with friends, or sleeping, which is why they have sleeping tents that block out the sun and heat of a New Mexican summer.

The delicious food they serve follows the guidelines of a proper Ayurvedic diet, the yogic health principles, that leave you feeling amazing.

The most challenging and rewarding part of the retreat are the three days of 8-hour meditations done with a partner. It's intense and profound. From holding poses for an hour to holding eye contact, it's deep stuff that has you reaching depths of yourself you didn't know existed.

After over a week of nourishing your body, mind, and soul, you're left completely renewed and rejuvenated.

When I went to Solstice I chose to spend the time meditating and focusing on my future and letting go of my past and anything stopping me from pursuing my dreams. Before Solstice, I planned to move to Colorado and find a job. After Solstice, I decided to move to my hometown and that it was time to realize my dream and open a business. I attribute the changes I made in my life to the time I spent at Solstice focusing on my vision and letting go of the things holding me back. I am so grateful for that experience and what it propelled me to do.

Solstice 2015

I had a million excuses why I couldn't go to Solstice this year, so I reluctantly told my fellow yogi friends that I'd try for winter solstice. Then, about two weeks ago, I woke up with Solstice on the brain and felt this ache that I needed to go. I'm eager to see what more I can learn, discover, and let go of. That's when I realized that I shouldn't let anything hold me back from doing what feels right. I set everything in motion and in a week and a half I will be on my way to New Mexico… it's all happening! I'll keep you posted on my journey!